So Hard to Find

Was this all a mistake?

Was this all a lie?

Just a massive undertaking to pacify?

 

Was this given to me?

Or did I take it away?

Did I ever even choose to live this way?

 

How do I know

What’s the bottom line

When the truth can be sometimes so hard to find?

 

Can I justify

The words that I say?

Would I want to if I could, could I do it if I would?

 

   This is more than a stance

   This is more than me opinionating

   This is more than chance

   This is more than a passing feeling that I’ve had

   And even though I can’t know for sure

   There’s something burning deep inside

   That I’m not ready to ignore

   And so

 

          I’ll wait for you

          Cause you say you’ll be around

          And I’ll look for you

          Cause you promise to come down

          And I’ll listen hard

          For a still small sound

          I’ll search for you

          Cause you promise to be found

 

Was this all a mistake?

Did I make a wrong choice?

Did I listen inside my heart for the right voice?

 

Did I feel anything?

Or was it all in my head?

A dream to make life better until I’m dead?

 

   This is more than a stance

   This is more than me opinionating

   This is more than chance

   This is more than a passing feeling that I’ve had

   And even though I can’t know for sure

   There’s something burning deep inside

   That I’m not ready to ignore

   And so

 

          I’ll wait for you

          Cause you say you’ll be around

          And I’ll look for you

          Cause you promise to come down

          And I’ll listen hard

          For a still small sound

          I’ll search for you

          Cause you promise to be found

 

 

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now am found

Was blind but now I see

 

 

I remember the day in the park under the tree

When grace was given to me

(Mat Weddle, February 2003)